Written by FISIWE ZWANA-FREEMAN
It just never ceases to amaze me how little integrity means in the world these days. It is a seldom thought and even less seldom displayed in action and attitude. Most of us are so caught up in just getting by, we don't stop to consider what is right; we only think about what is most expedient. When I say us, I have to acknowledge that I, too, have been caught up. But honestly, over the past several years after living so long shackled to expediency and convenience, and quite frankly fear and weakness and paying the prices, I have made great efforts to live with integrity because living without it made me a person I did not like, love, and appreciate.
Have you ever been at work and you know something is just dead wrong? Everybody has a complaint about something, but nobody wants to do anything about it. When you step up and become proactive about it, the complainers protest: "Why are you trippin'? It has nothing to do with you and me so just leave that alone?" But we all fail to realize that one day it will be about us!
The person I most admire at my job is a woman who does her best everyday. She's focused from the time she comes in to the time she leaves. She never slacks off or hides when someone is looking, and she never puts her comfort before the ones she serves. Instead of complaining, she makes suggestions to make things better and she speaks up or volunteers when things need to be fixed or accomplished. Sometimes she actually cries from frustration and disappointment when it seems that those around her do not care. As her supervisor, I am compelled to do everything I can to support her because she is just the type of employee I value most. Her position at work is not just for the purposes of acquiring a paycheck. Her place at work is about a sense of integrity that she carries with her and refuses to compromise in order for everything and everyone to function successfully and harmoniously. She truly is a blessing.
The hard part for me is that living with integrity doesn't necessarily make life any easier. In fact it makes things harder just in a different way. People around me start looking at me like I grew a second head. But I don’t allow it to deter my initiative because when I do the right thing I feel a great abundance of peace and self pride from conquering my fear of what everyone else might have thought of me. Believe me, contrary to what people might say, they more often wish they could have been the one to stand up to make a difference—usually in secret admiration.
Unfortunately, this constant conflict causes me to become so frustrated and downright pissed off. It seems that in order to be right you have to go out on a limb and risk your security and/or relationships with others. I’m in one situation where the right thing to do regarding a very important relationship in my life is being challenged in a major way by the very people who should be supporting it. It's painful and makes life terribly challenging. I just thank God I found my way through worshiping Him, reading His word, and praying. I know that Jesus has been through so much worse, yet he still lived up to the epitome of integrity for our sake and was rewarded by The Father for it all. Because of His example, I utilize faith, hope, and determination to live my life in integrity, even when I fall short.
I do not claim to be perfect; none of us are. It is a daily struggle and some days we lose hands down. Our weaknesses are often great. Right now, I am suffering the consequences from my own lack of integrity with managing my money. I didn't do anything malicious. I happened to let my finances slide when things became tough because it was easier. But now it has come back to haunt me and this is an area of my life where integrity means discipline, which has been one of the toughest lessons for me to learn. Step by step, I make slow strides every few years as I put certain practices into place and maintain them. But I know I can do better; I know that I will.
With a personal moral code that demands righteousness all the time, not just when it is simple, convenient, or self-serving; each of us can find the strength and resolve to live more meaningful lives. Easier said than done, right? Well, of course! I just wish we would all extend more effort toward having integrity more often instead of accepting what is popular or easier regarding that which is considered acceptable and normal. Once we simply decide why we should, the how becomes progressively easier. I know I draw my greatest strength from my faith and trust in Jesus whose life is the greatest model. What about you? Where do you draw your strength to do what you think you cannot do?
Until Next Time. Always remember, you were born blessed.Fisiwe
Fisiwe is a writer, singer and performance poet. She is the author of Lovewords: Poetry From a Place Called Love, and she is the host of her own internet radio show, Love Art Life Radio. She can be reached at fisiwezwana@yahoo.com.
The Meandering Mental Path of a Brokenhearted Woman
I loved this essay! I was so vibin' on it that I wished it would sing on a little bit more. Chuma, when we spoke, you mentioned the word Integrity to me, and it was one of those Aha! words that I needed to hear in that moment. A word I needed to be reminded of. My partner lives and breathes integrity (he and Fisiwe's employee are cut from the same cloth). For the continued success of our relationship, I have to continually step up my game. Integrity does not rub off by osmosis; it is most definitely a choice. Bravo Fisiwe for a most timely essay!
Posted by: Corey | January 22, 2009 at 01:41 PM
Corey – Integrity is definitely one of those attributes that you have to be mindful of practicing in order for people to take you seriously and trust in your word. Your word is everything, and integrity stems from that. Then from there your actions and deeds propel you to another level in the eyes of others, which also involves integrity. But the most important thing to remember is integrity towards one self. If you can’t be honest, mindful, or even keep your word to yourself, then there is no way you will be able to accomplish it with others. So I agree with you when you say BRAVO to Fisiwe.
Posted by: Christopher Hicks-Marshall a.k.a. Chuma | January 22, 2009 at 01:57 PM
Corey, I am so happy that you were able to relate to and appreciate this article. More importantly, I am happy for you that you have someone in your life who motivates you and keeps you accountable. That is so important for all of us. If more people had these types of relationships to draw on, we'd see more integrity in the world. It just goes to show the importance of living by example. As they say, "Be the change you want to see in the world" right? Thank you for your feedback. It is definitely encouraging.
Chuma, while it goes without saying, I will say it anyway. You are one of the examples of integrity that I have experienced and to you I owe a great deal. I love you.
In Love,
Fisiwe
Posted by: Fisiwe | January 22, 2009 at 08:21 PM