Written by FISIWE
Six months ago, I was a practicing Buddhist seeking Enlightenment. Two months ago I got “saved”; accepted the free gift of salvation from Jesus Christ into my heart. Yesterday, I got baptized and committed my life to God. Today I am born again, possessing salvation and defining my place in Heaven when this life is over. Whoa! Right?
As a Buddhist I was intent on dieing to my sensory self. I meditated and sought to become detached physically, mentally and emotionally. The idea is that the connections that bind us to our current state of consciousness are what keep us suffering. My goal was ultimately to obliterate all this perception until I am completely divested from all that ties me to the world and the suffering that inevitably derives from it. This takes life times.
According to Gautama Buddha, God the Creator, was a non-question; a non-issue.1 That in and of itself never, ever sat well with my spirit. Still I pressed on, determined to becoming convinced one day that I could learn to meditate away the deep seeded memory and unshakable knowledge of God’s existence. As a Buddhist, I had to believe that even my connection to God was a tie to be dismantled.
As a Christian, I live to die to my egoic self. I love God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost so much I am willing to ultimately submit my life to them as we all do when we are truly in love. I live to manifest God’s presence and honor Him; to make preparations to live in the new earth with Him forever. It’s an awesome gift beyond compare that Jesus came to earth and exchanged his life to pay for my sins and give me everlasting life with Him. Long before I was ever born, before my parents were born, God knew me. And Jesus thought of me and decided that he loved me so much he would die for me to have everything in God’s Kingdom.
I mean, WHOA! Right? How does one process such profound ideas, assign the term “truth” to them, and fashion a living out of them? How does one make a radical, fundamental transformation with integrity on a soul level? How does one choose which road to walk down with deliberateness and faith?
For me, only the heart could show me how.
I have always been lead by my heart. I have also been influenced, distracted, misguided and discouraged by my thoughts and fears and other external forces that deliberately seek to silence the pinpoint accuracy of the heart. I truly believe that the heart is the place in us God created to keep us connected to Him (“…for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.”2)
The heart is a place, a real place, a world of its own. It has its own landscape and terrain. It has room to store and space to build. It can support an immeasurable amount of weight; stretch to heights and depths unparalleled. The heart supports its own life force through which all things are possible. Particularly things you cannot see with your eyes or touch with your hands or come in ways unfamiliar. You might look upon things that can happen in the heart as children do upon things that can happen in the land of make believe. Nothing is impossible if you believe. The heart is so expertly made it permeates throughout us making its presence felt even in our minds and our bodies.
When I “got saved”, the experience of accepting salvation and submitting to Jesus so that he could enter my heart and take up residence within me was just as real physically and mentally as it was spiritually. I thought it, I saw it, I heard it, I felt it, I knew it! It was a synergy in every part of me that seared me together in such a way that my heart has now become an irrevocable part of every bit of me.
Now I begin a life of thinking with my heart as I feel with it; speaking with my heart as I hear with it; living with my heart as I dream with it. Using my heart this way strengthens it, strengthens me.
I have been seeking and exploring my personal connection with God, The Almighty Creator, the Divine Oneness, the Alpha and the Omega for as long as I can remember. I have been experiencing the connection all my life but like with blinders, ear plugs, a muzzle and a nose clip on. I have longed and yearned to be close to this awesome energy and to be transformed by the miraculous. I have never been content to live unaware, unresponsive, distant or unsure of my source. Strangely enough, what I’ve always wanted was right there all the time. I have always been the one my friends called “cosmic”, looking to the ethereal for my answers and my blessings. But my spiritual compass has been unhinged and I’ve taken many different dim and dark roads along the way because I chose to travel alone. God created us with an inbred longing for him. Without my sights set on him, that longing was obscured, and I filled that longing with any/everything else. Now Jesus is my heart and my heart is my new compass, sturdily hinged on the truth that is GOD.
I used to believe that all that was required was for me to be a good person. A concept based on very general principles that broad stroke the notion of “good” over areas that need more detailed attention. “Good” doesn’t address the purpose of my life which I wandered, often aimlessly, usually lost, in search of. “Good” doesn’t address the specificity of God’s will for my life which gives my day to day structure, direction and meaning. From the heart’s perspective, it is not enough to just be good…I must be “God Good!”
So how can I know God’s will for my life? Well, that has everything to do with God’s WORD. And that is a whole other article!!
Until next time. Always remember, you were born blessed!
2-Samuel 16:7-Holy Bible (King James Version)
Fisiwe is a writer, singer and performance poet. She is the author of Lovewords: Poetry From a Place Called Love, and she is the host of her own internet radio show, Love Art Life Radio. She can be reached at email@example.com.